Good day,

Independent News Service is devoted to its integrity and service to proactively collaborate with the community and we take the utmost pride in describing our mission statement in only the vaguest of terms.

Frankly, If this was the writing standard at our office, I should think any reader in his right mind would say, “what a dumb and confusing way to write.”

Your editor thinks he should have more respect for you by declaring our mission in a clearer manner.

Our Mission:

Unlike the other paper in town, this is a weekly service. Do not misunderstand, we shall be devoted to the community to publishing straight forward articles, editorials, special reports, letters to the editor, and other such things common of the publication business.

We do acknowledge and accept that your letters to me are not written by us, and therefore cannot always be in simple terms. In any case, your editor urges you to write in simple terms. I sincerely urge you letter writers to have a prose distinct from your government’s unclear sense of style.

It’s gotten entirely popular even in local governments. But as they say in high school, “out with the old and in with the new.” When kids get out of high school they usually start thinking clearly. Our news staff certainly did and I can speak for it: we don’t think all new things are good whether it’s in state government or local ones.

There is an old quote of which all sort of folk have quipped: how can you understand something if you cannot put it simply?

“Know your audience,” quips this editor.

We at INS hope that we can make you laugh and give you the story in the simple terms that you deserve as citizens of these United States. The fact is, Jack, that no one likes translating our government’s modern memorandums and resolutions.

What we have at INS are interpreters of these obscure languages. Every staff member desires, and we have discussed it, to get to the root meaning of these obscure texts. But it makes no difference to neither myself nor my staff whether these ladies and gentlemen of the government speak in English or an arcane language, we all agree to pull the truth out from the root.

Side note: these are the parameters if you desire to come aboard this ship of ours. But don’t worry, the North Break Water Light is always behind us to guide our ship to safety.

If you have not understood by now, your editor is encouraging you, Mr. or Mrs. reader, to contribute to us in anyway you see fit. You may send us a letter of opinion or a letter of interest to come aboard to aberyl.ins@gmail.com.

What we want in the end is for the story to end like it did in How the Grinch Stole Christmas, when all the whos of Whoville joined hands and sang around the Christmas tree.

Did I lose anyone?

I sincerely hope not. Do read it over again until you get it.

Why do you think anyone would want to join hands with a who that doesn’t even speak the regular who language? What kind of intentions would a who have by writing such unclear documents for the taxpayer whos. What do you think? Well, we think a who like that would have bad intentions. Our mission statement is to find out.

A first of INS propositions is for you, reader, to think about that because we may one day reveal the reality of our little riddle.

Very truly your Editor in Chief,

Dr. A. Beryl