Dear Alfred Beryl,

I don’t know why I keep having to rest assured about a project I can hardly figure out what the heck it is and who is Agent Orange? He’s clearly not a cat. It’s just a stupid name for a dude behind a computer. Am I really expected to believe this guy is an investigator or something? What’s his business in Ludington? Nothing to be afraid of because it’s just a keyboard loser.

I was a cop a long time ago. Now I’m retired. I retired to Ludington a few years ago and I like this place because it’s quiet. In my opinion, I don’t think the community needs kitty cats investigating our government. It’s fine the way it is.

When I read that the orange cat is gonna investigate a local organization I just laughed. Then I sent an email to the city’s police department and still I didn’t get a response. Maybe they think the FBI kitty is nothing to worry about. Well I do. It looks like the start of trouble we don’t need in our quiet community and I suggest these would-be journalists and its editor close up shop and do this somewhere else or maybe Alfred could just turn this into a recipe blog and be done with it.

I ain’t leaving my name here.

Editor’s Note: We received this letter a couple days ago and only one part of it kept me hesitant to publish it. It was indeed sent as a letter to the editor, but from what one of my reporters discovered was a fake email address, neither was a name left. We decided to publish it without one vulgar section. Harassment against Ms. Sophia Sloan was made on the sexual level, we will not publish such a violation against the young lady.